zayeneesha ayeina, giving gifts, muslim, islam, how to give gifts

Eid is a beautiful gift from Allah for the patience, tolerance and perseverance we showed in the month of Ramadan. For the fasts we kept for His sake. Even though Allah doesn’t need any of that yet He gives us a chance to celebrate many of our weaknesses that we were able to convert into our strengths.

And the joy of receiving such gift is contagious. Hence we give gifts to each other on eid too.

Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Give gifts and you will love one another.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]

So the question is, can gifts increase love?
The answer is YES!

How to make sure your gifts do nothing but increase love for each other?

1) Keep your intentions pure

If your intention of giving a gift is to increase love and remove malice from the hearts, then it will be that source for you. Any other evil motive behind it can waste all the money and effort involved.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “If anyone intercedes for his brother and he presents a gift to him for it and he accepts it, he approaches a great door of the doors of usury.” [Abi Dawud]

*picture credit: @the_inspired_muslim_mama

2) Give a gift without expecting it back

The more you expect, the more you are let down. So give a gift for the sake of Allah and your joy-meter will automatically rise!

Narrated Abu Hurairah: “A man from Banu Fazarah gave a gift to the Prophet (ﷺ) of she-camel from his camels which they had taken at Al-Ghabah. So he reciprocated for it with something in return, but he was upset with it. So I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), upon Minbar saying: ‘Indeed one of the men from the Bedouins gave me a gift so I reciprocated for it to the extent of what I had. Then he became very upset with me. By Allah! After my experience with this Bedouin man, I shall not accept a gift from anyone except from a Quraishi, Ansari, Thaqafi, or Dawsi.'” [Tirmidhi]

3) Do not follow up with ‘mann wa aza’ (reminder and hurt)

There are many examples of doing this – from showing authority to expecting praise or simply – constantly talking about it…

O you who have believed, do not invalidate your charities with reminders or injury as does one who spends his wealth to be seen by the people and does not believe in Allah and the Last Day. His example is like that of a smooth stone upon which is dust and is hit by a downpour that leaves it bare. They are unable anything of what they have earned… [Qur’an – 2:264]

*picture credit: @the_inspired_muslim_mama

4) Do not make it a means to show off

If you can afford an expensive gift, go ahead. But the reason shouldn’t be to show off your wealth.

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“The thing I fear most for you is the lesser shirk (polytheism), showing-off” [Bulugh al-Maram]

5) Give presentable presents

No matter how small the gift is. No matter how insignificant it may be for some. No matter how cheap the product is. Make it presentable. Give gifts that you can afford easily and something you’d like for yourself.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.” [Bukhari]

*picture credit: @the_inspired_muslim_mama

6) Do not demand it back

Imagine someone giving you a gift and then demanding it back because you didn’t gift them back or you had an argument with them etc. You’d rather not receive such gift!

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that the Prophet said: “The one who takes back his gift is like the one who goes back to his vomit.” [Nisai]

7) Accept it wholeheartedly

We have a culture of saying NO as a default and it constantly rolls on our tongues on special occasions like Eid. If someone is giving gift out of love, accept it. 

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “I shall accept the invitation even if I were invited to a meal of a sheep’s trotter, and I shall accept the gift even if it were an arm or a trotter of a sheep.” [Bukhari]

*picture credit: @the_inspired_muslim_mama

8) Be Just

Although the following hadith is specific to children, the rule can apply to siblings, parents etc. as well. 

It was narrated from Nu’man bin Bashir that: his father gave him a gift of a slave, and he came to the Prophet (ﷺ) so that he could witness the gift. He said: “Have you given something to all of your children?” He said: “No.” He said: “Then take back (your gift).” [Ibn Majah]

9) Don’t belittle someone’s gift

Whether it be a second hand gift, something you already own or an inexpensive product – if someone has tried, it’s praiseworthy! 

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “…Never belittle any gift you give your neighbor even if it is a hoof of a sheep”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

10) Show gratitude

Say jazakAllah Khair (for male) / jazakillah khair (for female) instead! (Meaning: May Allah reward you with good).

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said :”Whoever is not grateful to the people, he is not grateful to Allah.” [Tirmidhi]

Bonus tip:

Try customized gifts or even best, handmade by you! You may think it’s not your forté but it’s the thought that counts. In such a busy life where everyone is just running and running, handmade has more and more value. It’s special. It’s unique. It’s thoughtful. It’s personal.

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NEXT: Islamic Gifts for All Occasions  (free printable cards)

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5 COMMENTS

  1. Very nice compilation. The best thing is that each of the points is supported by an ayah or hadeeth. 🙂

    It bewilders me when people look down on a gift or consider it less because it wasn’t expensive. I mean hey! It’s about love and connection, not about wealth and materialistic stuff.

    • A thought and effort put into it is much more valuable. We have a tradition of giving out handmade cards/gifts in our home and that has helped us polish our creative side as well as a bonus 😀

  2. Masha’Allah lovely gifts. Pleased to see the gifts went down well! And JazakAllah Khair for taking part in the Eid swap!

    The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “…Never belittle any gift you give your neighbor even if it is a hoof of a sheep”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Love this.

    When ppl start belittling gifts then it makes me not want to give them. Whenever we take gifts to Pakistan relatives usually complain so now next time I am not going to bother. The material isn’t right for the weather, or they prefer money…..etc etc

  3. Once this is understood, then charity is better, but there is a sense in which a gift is better than charity, such as giving a gift to the Messenger of Allah Based on this, giving to one of your relatives may be better than giving charity, because it is more befitting to uphold the ties of kinship. The same may apply if you give a gift to a friend of yours, because that will strengthen the bonds of love between you. The Prophet

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