10 Advices from Older Me to Younger Self (part 1) Lists

 

From,
Older You;

 

I don’t really know from where should I start…

This might seem strange but the future I am in, where time is not a line but a dimension, such things are possible.

So much has happened in the past years that I don’t want to worry you with all the future details. Worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment while future is inevitable. For you, today and tomorrow are yet to be said. I know you will be curious to know the fine intricacies of your life to come. I know. Been there done that. But there are some things that I will tell you, not your future, but the things you could do to improve your attitude towards it.

 

1.  Learn from your past

Future is indeed very important but you can only connect the dots when you look back. Learn from your past while living in your present and focusing on your future. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, it’s the best way you probably learn. But may be, not all mistakes are to be made, to learn. Some are better learned from others’ experiences. Otherwise what you lose in the process may be way more than what you gain from it.

People also tend to think that the past is fixed and gone; it can’t be changed. But how we recall the past and think about it can be changed. Recalling memories in different ways can help us re-interpret the past and set us off on a different path in the future. Our lives are defined by the opportunities we take and miss. The chances, the changes are all yours to make. The mold of your life is in your hands to break.

A story has no beginning or end; you choose the moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead. So choose today and learn from what passed yesterday. Things like…

 

2. Value time

Start today than tomorrow. If not now, when?

Time flies and it isn’t just a saying. It really does travel fast. You may visit some place after a year and feel like everything and everyone has changed.

You would want to stop wasting time now because you will realize how important it is. Before it turns out to be your biggest regret, make amends now. It’s never too late. Each and every moment is important; even a second. You will realize that as you grow older.

Focus yourself on what’s important and then prioritize it. Set a result for failure. Set up accountability. All that time you spend surfing the Internet is a huge, huge waste of time. Diving into the world of social media is as toxic as well. You won’t know where your hours went by…and you won’t know where you spent your life either…

as beautifully put in a hadith:

There are two blessings which many people lose: (They are) Health and free time for doing good.

Those days and weeks will never be back. Who cares what happens on TV, when reality is slipping by outside? Don’t procrastinate. Set goals, not wishes. You cannot control the outcome of a wish, but you can control the outcome of a goal. Change your habit environment. Habit change by nature is uncomfortable. So don’t expect comfort. Take baby steps. Start small. That’s how you overcome the problem of inertia. In some situations though, you need to stop dipping your toes in the water and just jump in.

Time is something you’ll wish to reverse but you won’t be able to fight time, so…

 

3. Take care of you

Your skin won’t be able to fight time and you won’t scar anyone with the knowledge that human eyes don’t come rimmed in kohl or mascara but that doesn’t mean that you stop caring about your health, because your health will go faster than you think. It will be very hard to notice because it will all happen so gradually. You will regret brutalizing your body for the first half of your life. Your body will break down and the mental facilities will deteriorate. Bitter but true. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it. So start utilizing it in the best of ways, gain as much as aakhirah you can, now – before you don’t have the luxury to. And that’s why…

 

4. Value blood ties

I know you value blood. I know you value family. But sometimes we do start to take them for granted. Make more time for your family – your husband, your kids, your siblings, your in-laws and of course your parents…It’s easy to forget that as we grow older, our parents age as well. Do something nice for them and be thankful for what they’ve done for you. You will start to realize that even more when you become a parent yourself. You will know the sacrifices they never spoke of…so start thanking them today before time takes them away… Love who you love while you have them. That’s all you can do.

Love never dies a natural sudden death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of wilting, of lack of communication and expression. When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. Careless words can sometimes do that.

Your kids also, are going to grow up way faster than you think. Therefor…

 

5. Know your values

Stand up for the right. And teach your kids that as well. I know you don’t like to displease people but never change your core values for another person. Learn to set your boundaries. That two-letter word–NO–is incredibly empowering and one that will often lead to a higher degree of success. Conflict of all forms is inevitable, but the only thing you can control is how you react to it. Stand your ground and be upfront as long as you’re right. If you’re wrong, don’t shy away from admitting it.

Learn how to say “no” to people, activities and obligations that don’t bring value to your life in this world and hereafter both. You cannot do everything! Don’t spend time with the negative people because they will consume you, drain you. Other people’s opinions don’t have to be your reality.

People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right.

Just know your main purpose and cut off what doesn’t serve it. Those people who pursue a dream or a main purpose in life are by far the wealthiest and happiest among us. Believe it or not, finding this purpose is easy. And I know you have found one by now but keep looking because you will explore many dimensions of it. Along with that…

 

Next part can be read here.

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Samina Farooq is an engineer by qualification, a Quran and Arabic-language student by occupation, a photographer by eye, a writer by heart, an artist by nature and a Muslim by soul. A mum of one is currently studying Intensive Arabic Program from Islamic Online University while also following Bayyinah institute's 'Arabic with Husna' classes, one baby step at a time.

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