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alhamdulillah!
9) Look for the khair hidden in hard moments
“…And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” [Qur’an; 4:19]
As Abu Bakr Zoud stated in this post: “Even the best of people had struggles in marriage. Abdullah ibn Umar رضي الله عنه once had such a severe argument with his wife that he left his home intending to divorce her. On his way, he heard this aayah:
فَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا
A reminder from Allah to pause and look for the good instead of walking away in anger.
He turned back, reconciled with his wife and from that union, Allah blessed them with Salim رحمة الله , one of the most righteous and knowledgeable of the next generation. That was the خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا, the abundant good, Allah had written for them.
When marriage feels heavy and patience feels too hard, remember, sometimes what annoys you today may be the source of your greatest blessings tomorrow, so don’t let a moment of emotion erase a lifetime of potential.”
10) Love for the sake of Allah frees you
Abu Idris Al-Khaulani (May Allah had mercy upon him) reported:…I heard Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying, ‘Allah, the Exalted, says: My love is due to those who love one another for My sake, meet one another for My sake, visit one another for My sake and spend in charity for My sake”. [Riyad as-Salihin 382]
When you really love someone for the sake of Allah then you do not build your relationship with them or do good for/to them in the hope that they may reciprocate and benefit you with something at some point in the future. Of course, Islam has given us all our rights, but this liberates us from having unmet expectations and relying on the creation.
“Truly in the heart there is a void that cannot be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that cannot be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that cannot be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness.” – Imam Ibn al-Qayyim.
11) In arguments, choose curiosity over defensiveness
“Verily, you are those who have disputed about that of which you have knowledge. Why do you then dispute concerning that which you have no knowledge? It is Allah Who knows, and you know not.” [Quran; 3:66]
Allah is addressing people who love to argue – even about things they don’t really understand. Our knowledge has limits, and true knowledge belongs only to Him. Arguing without proper understanding leads to confusion, pride, and division. Instead of debating just to prove we’re right, we should seek clarity with humility – through learning, reflection, and sincerity. Wife is always right or a husband is always right is a very shallow statement. Hard and uncomfortable conversations will only be successful with emotionally intelligent people!
Knowing both of your rights will save you so much energy on useless quarrels and arguments. Allah (SWT) knows us more than we know ourselves and hence has bestowed certain roles and rights upon each of us. This makes things concise and easy. Exerting energy in fulfilling the rights of your husband and him doing the same for you will make both of you get invested in finding ways to make each other happy.
Surprisingly, the more you work on yourself, the clearer you’ll know the difference between what you want and what you need in a spouse. You might want a spouse with a sense of humor, but you need someone who is supportive of you. In other words, you might be able to compromise the wants, but not the needs. Do not settle for anyone just for the sake of getting married. Marriage, when implemented for the sake of Allah, becomes a beautiful, and safe sanctuary for both partners.
12) Serving your family is a sunnah
Narrated Al-Aswad: I asked `Aisha what did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do at home. She replied. “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 6039]
Acts of services is one of the love languages that involves expressing love through helpful actions, such as doing household chores or running errands. People who value this love language feel loved and appreciated when their spouse does things for them that make their life easier. These are some signs that acts of service may be your love language if you are exceptionally happy when your spouse helps you with a chore (that they don’t normally do) without having to be asked. If you’re always ready to jump in and do things for the people you care about, then this means that’s how you show love and want to be loved the same way too. They feel cared for when their loved ones do chores and offer help.
Dr Chapman says: “Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this Love Language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.”
Imagine the most busy and important man in the history of the world (ﷺ) showing up for his family this way. What excuse do we have? He didn’t see helping at home as something “beneath” him – it was part of his ibaadah. This hadith reminds us that greatness in Islam isn’t just about public achievements or leadership – it’s also about humility, service, and kindness behind closed doors. So when we tidy up, cook, fold clothes, or care for loved ones, we’re not “just doing chores” – we’re following the Sunnah.
True strength is in serving, not in being served. And if the best of creation could make time for his family despite carrying the heaviest responsibilities, then we can too by being present, kind, and helpful in our own homes.
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13) Your marriage CAN survive the toughest storms with Allah’s Help
“And your Lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied.” [Quran; 93:5]
A promise wrapped in mercy… a verse that feels like a warm hand placed on a trembling heart…A verse that lands differently on the hearts of those praying for companionship, healing within a marriage, or the easing of disappointment. It arrives like a soft reminder that the Giver of hearts and the Turner of hearts has not forgotten yours.
As @abubakrzoud stated: “The richest people are not those with the most money or possessions, but those who are content with what Allah has blessed them with, whether it’s wealth, health, family, or even the smallest of blessings. True richness is found in gratitude and contentment, knowing that what Allah has decreed for you is always what’s best!”
Sometimes marriage feels like abundance and sometimes like drought – but even in its hardest chapters, Allah’s promise stands: Your Lord will give you in ways you didn’t imagine, through people you didn’t expect, or through growth you didn’t know you needed…and your heart WILL be satisfied! Allah knows the kind of companionship your soul needs to grow into its best self.
Richness in marriage is the barakah that settles into a home where mistakes are met with mercy, effort is met with appreciation (even if it’s the bare minimum), and love is nurtured more by dua than by perfection.
14) Barakah blooms in a marriage rooted in gratitude
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said : “Whoever is not grateful to the people, he is not grateful to Allah.” [Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1954]
Gratitude – the base of every successful relationship! Relationship with Allah, with ourselves, with others…When gratitude becomes our lifestyle, it can be felt in our hearts (shukr bil qalb). It can be heard from our mouths (shukr bil lisaan). And it can be seen in our actions (shukr bil jawaarih).
Gratitude is a seed that helps love grow – it opens the doors for husn-adh-dhann – Good and positive thoughts! When I gifted my husband an Alhamdulillah-For-Series gratitude journal filled with what I appreciated about him, there were a lot of things that I thought – should I be thanking for something that’s my right? But I kept writing day in and day out…I didn’t want to gift him the journal initially because basically, it was to keep my negative biases in check, but I couldn’t help showing it to him. I cried while writing them and he cried while reading them…
After seeing his reaction, I made sure to do that often – I gifted him a shukr box with lines written on circular tabs. Another time, I gifted him a gratitude jar with little shukr-filled rolled strips of paper inside. I don’t know who felt more good about this. Me or him…Practicing gratitude brought out the best in both of us alhamdulillah.
15) When we release control, Allah Opens doors
“You are not over them a controller.” [Quran; 88:22]
Control suffocates while leadership guides. One demands, the other inspires. Control is a quiet destroyer of relationships because hearts are never meant to be held by force. Control turns love into an obligation and it also doesn’t let us let go either…
If the Prophet ﷺ was not sent to micromanage hearts, who are we to assume control over people! We cannot write someone’s story for them. When we release the illusion of control, our relationships can breathe again. Even WE feel lighter because the burden of trying to control the world was never meant to sit on our shoulders. Our role is to model, not manipulate. To plant seeds, not pull at roots. Micromanaging is the silent thief of peace that disguises itself as care and effort – but underneath is a fear that everything will fall apart unless WE control every detail. It is born from anxiety, but it ends up creating the very chaos we are trying so desperately to avoid. It often pushes women into their masculine energy without them realizing it. They step into the role of the planner, the checker, the one who corrects, the one who decides, the one who ensures everything happens the right way. Over time, this makes them feel mentally exhausted, prevents them from relaxing or receiving help, and unintentionally pushes their spouse into a passive role. This dynamic becomes draining instead of empowering. It often creates resentment because women then feel like they are doing everything (and they are!).
So, save your dignity by stop begging or forcing and step back, and you will see them stepping up. When you trust, they rise. When you release control, Allah opens doors that force never could. Your job is to walk your own path with integrity. Hearts turn only by Allah’s permission. And in that surrender, you finally find peace or resolution!
16) Gifts can become seeds that allow the love to grow
Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Give gifts and you will love one another.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 594]
This love language involves expressing love through giving and receiving thoughtful gifts. People who value this love language feel loved when their spouse chooses gifts that are personal to their relationship (Think: an inside joke or shared memory or event.), as they also put in the time to choose the most thoughtful gift when it comes to gift-giving. Signs that receiving gifts is your love language is that you treasure everything your spouse gives you, no matter how small.
A gift can be a flower picked on the walk home, a cup of tea placed beside a tired spouse, a note tucked into a lunchbox, or the favourite meal cooked on an ordinary day. Gifts weave tenderness into the fabric of a marriage. They soften hearts after silence, bridge gaps after misunderstandings, and revive affection when life grows busy or routine. Because giving is not about the value of what leaves your hands,
but the warmth that leaves your heart.
Dr Chapman says: “Don’t mistake this Love Language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this Love Language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you…Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.”
In marriage, gifts become seeds – and with every seed planted, Allah allows more love to grow.