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List of Aayaat from the Quran that Helped Me as a Parent
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1) Love and Mercy are the two pillars of marriage
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [Qur’an; 30:21]
Mawadda (love or affection) comes from the roots Waw-Dal-Dal which means to love, show affection, desire, be fond of, friendship etc. While Rahma (mercy) comes from the roots Ra-Ha-Miim which means womb (place of origin). Ruhmun means connection or tie of relationship. Rahma in general means mercy, favour, forgiveness, tenderness etc. From both roots stem the Names of Allah AL-WADOOD and AR-RAHMAN / AR-RAHIM. It’s like a constant reminder that Allah should be the focal point of each relationship. It’s also a reminder that if mawadda lacks in a relationship, rahma should step in and if rahma is taken away, then remember mawadda as a root of it. It’s easy to take both love and mercy for granted. But both are these necessary crutches if you seek this tranquility Allah promises. Muhammad ﷺ said: “Allah said: ‘Those who love each other for the sake of My Majesty shall be upon podiums of light, and they will be admired by the Prophets and the martyrs.'”
2) A supportive spouse is a source of peace
Narrated Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet)…he began to like seclusions, so he used to go in seclusion in the cave of Hira where he used to worship Allah continuously for many nights before going back to his family to take the necessary provision (of food) for the stay. He come back to (his wife) Khadija again to take his provision (of food) likewise, till one day he received the Guidance while he was in the cave of Hira. …Then Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) returned with that experience; and the muscles between his neck and shoulders were trembling till he came upon Khadija (his wife) and said, “Cover me!” They covered him, and when the state of fear was over, he said to Khadija, “O Khadija! What is wrong with me? I was afraid that something bad might happen to me.” Then he told her the story. Khadija said, “Nay! But receive the good tidings! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you, for by Allah, you keep good relations with your Kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, entertain your guests generously and assist those who are stricken with calamities.” Khadija then took him to Waraqa bin Naufil, the son of Khadija’s paternal uncle. Waraqa had been converted to Christianity in the Pre-lslamic Period and used to write Arabic and write of the Gospel in Arabic as much as Allah wished him to write. He was an old man and had lost his eyesight. Khadija said (to Waraqa), “O my cousin! Listen to what your nephew is going to say.” ….[Sahih al-Bukhari 4953]
The amount of vulnerability the Prophet ﷺ had with his wife Khadija when he came after the revelation and asked her to cover him while trembling shows how it is not a weakness. “zammilooni” is such a deep word. Kind of like asking someone to literally wrap them up (in a tight hug). It’s not just about covering with a cloth; it’s an appeal for being wrapped in safety, in closeness, in comfort. And he ﷺ said this on repeat. Zammilooni. Zammilooni. He sought the warmth of his wife who didn’t dismiss his fear. Who didn’t panic. Instead, she poured reassurance into his heart by naming his honesty, loyalty, care for kin, the way he supported the weak and stood for justice. She anchored him in his own goodness and in Allah’s care. True strength in a relationship lies in allowing ourselves to be seen at our most fragile, and in responding with compassion.
3) Happy marriages don’t revolve around spouses, they revolve around Allah.
“Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection.”
[Qur’an; 19:96]
When the axis of life is the Creator, everything else falls into its rightful orbit. Love between husband and wife then becomes more than a fleeting emotion – it becomes an act of worship, an act for the sake of Allah, a bridge to Jannah. Spouses don’t demand perfection from one another, because they recognize that only Allah is Perfect. Their worth and energy are not drained by the impossible task of being everything to everyone – constantly trying to make the spouse happy! Because by the end of the day, even happiness is in Allah’s Hands! So, their reservoir is replenished by the One who never runs out of mercy, never tires of giving. When Allah is the center, relationships don’t collapse under the weight of expectations. They flourish under the shade of His remembrance, illuminated by love that seeks His pleasure above all else.
4) Talk highly of your spouse in public spaces
It was narrated that Anas said: “It was said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which of the people is most beloved to you?’ He said: “Aishah.’ It was asked, ‘And among men?’ He said: ‘Her father.'” [Sunan Ibn Majah 101]
Prophet ﷺ expressed his love for his spouse openly – not just to his spouse directly, but also to others – without any hesitance! If we want our spouse to be respected in public, we have to highlight their good characteristics (and not make fun of them publicly – calling it a ‘joke’). Do you ever sit in a group of men or women, and you only hear them talking trash about their spouse? I understand when someone needs support and they genuinely have to share to seek advice, but when casual conversations turn into spouse-bashing sessions, where sarcasm takes the place of respect, that’s how we end up planting seeds of bitterness by dishonoring the relationship. Let’s not normalise negativity and mockery that corrodes trust. Let’s normalise leaving spaces where men or women are only tearing down their spouses – inviting you to do the same. Better yet, let’s normalise calling them out instead!
5) Do not forget the good even amidst the storm
“…And do not forget graciousness between you…” [Quran; 2:237]
Allah speaks of a tender balance in marriage; a verse that breathes mercy into the moments of separation. It acknowledges that not every union reaches its full bloom, that sometimes promises end before they are fulfilled. Sometimes plants die before they bear fruits. While sometimes the grown flowers wilt too. Yet even in that pause, Allah preserves dignity – even when hearts part, kindness is expected to linger.
Love in its truest form is not ownership, but in letting go with generosity. To give when one could withhold and to pardon when one could insist…The smile that once brought comfort, the meals shared at one table, the prayers whispered together – honor those memories by parting with respect. Disagreements may close a chapter, but graciousness means not tarnishing reputations.
6) Love is not found in extremes – but in balance
Aslam said, ” ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab said, ‘Do not let your love be a total infatuation. Do not let your anger be destruction.’ I asked, ‘How is that?’ He replied, ‘When you love, you are infatuated like a child. When you hate, you desire destruction for your companion.'” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1322]
Love is meant to be a steady flame, not a wildfire that burns everything down. Infatuation swallows reason, like a child clinging without measure, unable to see faults no matter what boundaries your spouse may cross. True love is mature. Anger, on the other hand, is inevitable as two souls sharing life together will stumble against two types of upbringing. But let not anger grow into destruction – physical or verbal abuse. Some cracks cannot be mended. Instead, let anger be a storm that passes without uprooting the tree. Leave the space that triggered you. Create the physical distance before the hearts are distanced.
Marriage is not built on extremes. It is built on balance – love that nurtures without blindness, and anger that speaks without abuse. Like the sun and the rain, both have their place, but too much of both can halt the plant’s growth. In between, heart finds a rhythm to endure both joy and trial.
7) Let the garment of taqwa be the most important piece of clothing you wear!
It has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to go to your wives . They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them… [Quran; 2:187]
Just as clothing covers and protects us, spouses serve as garments for one another. They conceal our imperfections and vulnerabilities. They offer protection from intense heat and cold. They also enhance our beauty, bringing comfort.
Ibn Al Qayyim (RA) says: Allah revealed 2 kinds of clothes: physical clothing that covers our bodies and internal clothing of piety (TAQWA) that beautifies us and covers our shortcomings. When the servant of Allah loses the spiritual clothing, his inner nakedness (soul) will be exposed as much as the body gets exposed when undressed.”
The best clothing the spouses should have is TAQWA. Practice it within your home before striving for it outside through the kindness that softens anger, forgiveness that mends the rupture, and patience that adds grace. The truest beauty between spouses is not found in appearance, but in the garment Allah loves – clothing of Taqwa.
8) Defending your spouse in public is the true meaning of protection
Anas reported that: Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) had a Persian neighbour who made excellent soup. He prepared some for Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and then came to him to invite him to eat. He (Allah’s Messenger) said, “and her too,” referring to `Aisha. The man said “No,” so Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) then said “No.” He returned later to invite him again, so Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said “and her too.” The man said “No,” so Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) then said “No.” He returned another time to invite him and Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “and her too.” The man said yes on this third occasion, and they then stood eagerly to go out together to the man’s home. [Sahih Muslim 2037]
The Prophet ﷺ was invited to enjoy a meal, yet he would not enjoy it without his wife by his side. He did not separate himself from her in moments of joy. He elevated her presence, showing that her companionship was not optional, but essential. Notice his persistence three times. And when finally she was welcomed, he ﷺ hurried with joy. His actions said – I don’t want this joy without you!
Along with that, he defended the honor of his wife just like he did many times when others spoke against her and he elevated her by word and action. His protection was not only physical – it was also emotional and social, safeguarding her place in the eyes of others. To remain silent while others belittle, mock, or disregard your spouse is to leave them exposed without armor. But to speak up with grace and firmness is to become their shield – a provision of security that no money can buy. Standing up for your spouse is a declaration – Your dignity is my responsibility!
It is as essential a form of provision as food on the table. When a spouse knows that you will defend their honor in public, they feel a safety deeper than any roof overhead – the safety of belonging. And in that belonging, love grows strong to weather all storms.
P.S. It’s amazing how they gracefully took his previous 2 rejections too and when the neighbour agreed for the third time, they happily went instead of complaining how he refused them for the first two times.