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List of Aayaat from the Quran that Helped Me as a Parent (1-8)
Aayaat That Feel Like a Bandaid in Parenthood (9-16)
An Aayah That Changed My Life After Parenthood
Aayaat That Gave Me A New Perspective As A Parent (17-24)
25) Tests can be a blessing in disguise – we wouldn’t change the tests if we knew the results
“…”Would you exchange what is better for what is less?…” [Qur’an; 2:61]
My light sleeper now wakes up for Fajr without an alarm. I remember all the techniques I used to apply so she could sleep for a bit longer. Any little sound would wake her up. And now, she is up by the sound of adhaan from our masjid nearby and it feels like a blessing. alhamdulillah.
My easy child – who didn’t cry much as a baby – now struggles to express her emotions. She has to be coached often on how to not suppress.
My clingy child is now the most loving one. He gives the most hugs and kisses.
And I can give many other examples where I saw something as a test/trial at a start, but they were a blessing in disguise – while there were things that I loved, but they ended up causing a lot more struggle for me eventually. So tawakkal Allah is SO important. Nothing in our life is without a purpose. Allah customised our life JUST FOR US!
26) We can only break generational patterns by changing ourselves
“Indeed, , you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the guided.” [Qur’an; 28:56]
It’s hard to break the loops we know,
To plant new seeds and watch them grow.
Though hope still whispers soft and sweet,
Fear walks close on eager feet.
To trust the path that feels so new,
Takes strength the heart must journey through.
Yet still we rise, and still we strive –
For hope remains, fierce and alive.
Not all children are like their parents. There’s a high probability of repeating those cycles if we keep functioning from the lack of self awareness on an unconscious level. But we have examples of Ibrahim عليه السلام etc. He couldn’t change his father, but he didn’t become like one either. It’s hard work for sure and healing is sometimes super slow, but we have the choice as an adult to break those generational patterns! Awareness of our inner child is the first step! It starts with us (through the help of Allah)!
27) When parenting drains you, Allah sustains you
“…And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a extent.” [Qur’an; 65:2-3]
Parenting is jihad bin nafs. A struggle against your own self. I sometimes wonder why do I feel exhausted even when I’ve barely done any physical work. I haven’t cooked elaborate meals. I haven’t deep cleaned the home. I haven’t organised every closet there is. But then I realise that Jihad bin nafs requires every ounce of your energy. When I see adults suffering because of their childhood, my shoulders start to feel heavy – as if a HUGE responsibility has been placed on my body. The responsibility of raising human beings who will become an integral part of the ummah. Who will raise another generation. And another. I feel the responsibility of a catalyst. I can not move a single grain of sand from its place without thereby changing something throughout all parts because everything in the world is connected together. But Allah makes a way out for us when we try to change the trajectory through tiny changes that may sometimes feel like a lot.
28) Mistakes are a part of learning! No one is perfect!
“Those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, only slight ones. Indeed, your Lord is vast in forgiveness. He was most knowing of you when He produced you from the earth and when you were fetuses in the wombs of your mothers. So do not claim yourselves to be pure; He is most knowing of who fears Him.” [Qur’an; 53:32]
I was discussing minor sins vs major sins with kids. I said – For eg: taking a bite of cookie without permission is a minor sin. One of them started crying and confessed that it looked so tempting. She felt shame for eating it. I hugged her and said I’m glad you let us know. Then another child came and confessed too. They both blamed it on the third child that the youngest one told them not to tell ama and baba. I said I’m glad you did the right thing now (by telling the truth) even if you couldn’t do the right thing then. The eldest said “please don’t tell baba – he would scold us then.” I said – a confession would set us free because to hide one wrong, you may have to keep lying then. Even though it’s uncomfortable to confess and it brings feelings of shame forward, confessing it would help you stop it right there and not stretch it any further. They finally told their baba instead of carrying the shame for so long.
29) Allah welcomes all the raw emotions
” And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, “Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.” [Qur’an; 19:23]
It amplifies the courage and strength of her vulnerability in front of Allah. Would I have the courage to voice my thoughts like that to Allah?
As Samia from @quranic_ocean said: “What I love so much about the Quran is that it doesn’t strip the emotions out of people, but magnifies them. Each and every one of was built with an internal mechanism that we can access our Creator with. Our emotions are a tool, an avenue, to Allah. The raw vulnerable emotions of prophets and the pious are highlighted. Prophet Musa was scared (20:67), Maryam peace be upon her wished she had died (19:23), Prophet Yaqoub was overwhelmed with intense grief (12:84), Prophet Musa’s mother’s heart was in distress (28:10), Prophet Noah felt defeated (54:10), Prophet Muhammad’s heart felt constricted (15:97), Prophet Ayoub was in pain (21:83), Prophet Yunus felt helpless in extreme darkness (21:87) and the list goes on.
You don’t have to search long and hard to find the deepest of feelings in people mentioned the Quran. And they’re not just any people, but prophets of God and righteous people to look up to. A pious person isn’t someone who lives a life in the path of God free of feelings, of times of hardship and intense grief and suffering. Rather, we learn through these stories that the pious are those who use their vulnerable situation to draw even closer to God.
In the examples mentioned, feelings are exposed. But what honored these people is that they exposed their wounds to none other than the One who can heal, their Creator and Sustainer.
Feel. Feel every bit of your hurt…direct it to the only One who can elevate you because of it.”
30) Plant the seeds and leave the fruit to Allah!
“…When He decrees a matter, He only says to it, “Be,” and it is.” [Qur’an; 2:117]
As parents, we often find ourselves waiting anxiously for our children to reach certain milestones. We wait for their first words, their first steps, their ability to read, pray, or show maturity in character. At times, that wait feels so long that we begin to wonder if it will ever happen. We pour in effort, prayers, and patience, yet progress can seem slow or invisible.
Then, subhanAllah, almost overnight, we witness a breakthrough. The child suddenly speaks clearly, walks confidently, or grasps a concept we thought was too hard for them. That moment is a reminder that every stage unfolds only by the decree of Allah. Our striving and nurturing are important, but ultimately, it is Allah who says “Be” — and with His permission, it comes into existence at the perfect time.
This verse calls us to trust Allah’s timing in parenting and all other walks of life. Just as creation itself is brought into being by His command, so too are the small and big milestones in our children’s lives. Our role is to plant the seeds with love, consistency, and dua, while leaving the fruit of those efforts to Allah!
Parenting then becomes less about rushing outcomes and more about the process. Each struggle is an opportunity to remember that growth is not in our control – it is a gift from the One who says “Be,” and it is. Our role is to trust His timing. For every stage in our children’s lives arrives not a moment too soon or too late, but exactly when He wills! and for Him, nothing is impossible! It’s just a matter of “kun”!
31) Small acts can leave a lasting legacy
“The example of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah is like a seed which grows seven spikes; in each spike is a hundred grains. And Allah multiplies for whom He wills…” [Qur’an; 2:261]
When we do something for the sake of Allah as a part of our daily routine (for eg: cooking or cleaning), we might see it as something small, but Allah can turn that small seed into a harvest. Even the smallest act of goodness, as tiny as a mustard seed, is recorded and can leave a lasting effect. When we invest in our children’s tarbiyyah (nurturing in faith, character, and values), every good action they do becomes a ripple connected back to us. The butterfly effect is the idea that something very small – like the flap of a butterfly’s wings – can set off a chain of events leading to something far greater and more impactful than we could imagine – how a tiny change in the initial stages of a system can cause huge consequences elsewhere over time. Our seemingly insignificant choices can create a ripple effect that impacts our lives and the lives of those around us.
Imagine sharing just one apple with a hungry person. That kindness restores their faith in humanity, leads them to seek truth, and eventually they enter Islam. Decades later, their descendants number in the hundreds, all worshipping Allah – from one apple, sadaqah jariyah kept flowing eternally. By Allah’s mercy, the moment can become a legacy. So may we guard our sadaqaat by being mindful before doing them, while doing them, and after doing them. And may we always do them for the sake of Allah!
This aayah reminds me of the story of Al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyad – who was an infamous highway robber. Imam Az-Zahabi narrated about Fudayl: “Fudayl Ibn Iyad was a clever person who (once) robbed people along the road between Abiward (an ancient Sassanid city, present-day Turkmenistan) and Sarakhs (a city in present-day Iran)…
One night, to be with a woman he was seeking, Al-Fudayl climbed the wall of her home. As he was climbing over it, he heard a voice recite: “Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah…” (57:16). At that moment, Al-Fudayl answered, “O my Lord, the time has indeed come.” He returned and eventually became a famous scholar – benefitting many in the process.
This story always makes me wonder about the person who recited the Qur’an out loud in a way that he could hear. His recitation brought the worst of criminals to Islam with Allah’s mercy. I’m not sure if that person ever got to know of the impact his recitation had, but imagine a mountain of good deeds that he will be surprised to see in aakhirah as a result of what happened after that recitation! His small moment that became a legacy…subhaanAllah!
32) Contentment with the decree of Allah
“To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what he wills. He gives to whom He wills female , and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He makes them males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent.” [Qur’an; 42:49-50]
After going through a series of miscarriages, multiple child births, and the death of an infant son – people already question your sanity when you choose to become a parent again…And it’s a whole new level of judgement and comments, when you have only one gender among the present kids, especially if all you have are … Girls!
What people normally think is… you are definitely a fool to have more kids or simply risk your life after an obsession to have another boy…
Why do we as Muslims forget these beautiful ahadith?
Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Marry, for I will boast of your great numbers.” [Sunan Ibn Majah 1863]
Uqbah bin Amir said, I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say: “Whoever has three daughters and is patient towards them, and feeds them, gives them to drink, and clothes them from his wealth; they will be a shield for him from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.'” [Sunan Ibn Majah 3669] – (Other versions of this hadith also talk about 2 daughters).
Sometimes, I get to talk on this if someone’s really interested to know…but plenty of times, I just smile, let them complete their phrases, and leave…I tell them…daughters are a blessing! If Allaah forever decides to bless us with daughters, every single one will be cherished with loads of gratitude – as this is what Allah has decreed for us with all His Wisdom, Love, and Purpose.
May whichever gender He chooses to bless us with, may they become the righteous servants of their Rabb, a source of coolness for our eyes and an asset for this ummah. Aameen.