PREVIOUS (related posts):
List of Aayaat from the Quran that Helped Me as a Parent (1-8)
Aayaat That Feel Like a Bandaid in Parenthood (9-16)
An Aayah That Changed My Life After Parenthood
Aayaat That Gave Me A New Perspective As A Parent (17-24)
Aayaat That Supported Me in My Parenting Journey (25-32)
33) Children are not trophies! They’re Allah’s amaanah!
“And it is not your wealth or your children that bring you nearer to Us in position, but it is one who has believed and done righteousness. For them there will be the double reward for what they did, and they will be in the upper chambers , safe .” [Qur’an; 34:37]
Children are not our trophies to display, nor our possessions to control – they are amaanah from Allah. Souls temporarily placed in our care.
It’s not how accomplished our children appear, how polite they seem in public, or how successful they become by worldly standards. What elevates us in Allah’s sight is our own righteous effort, not our visible outcomes in the form of our kids. Our nearness to Allah is not earned by their achievements, but through our own sincerity and deeds. Our success as parents will not be measured by their worldly accomplishments, but by whether we fulfilled our amaanah with sincerity, love, and faith.
Our role is to guide, not to own. When we treat children like trophies, we attach our worth to their performance and burden them with expectations they were never meant to carry. But when we treat them as amaanah, we raise them with humility, remembering that their little bodies and hearts belong to Allah. We are merely the gardeners, tending to the soil, watering with dua and effort, but never claiming ownership of the growth.
What brings us nearer to Allah is not our child’s perfection, but our own faith and righteousness as a parent. If we are just, patient, and sincere in fulfilling this trust, then Allah promises double the reward! So let’s release the illusion of control and embrace the honor of trust.
Let’s parent for the sake of Allah, not for applause. Let’s raise children who feel valued not for what they achieve, but for who they are before their Creator.
34) Good words become seeds in tarbiyah
“…And speak to people good …” [Qur’an; 2:83]
Every time we speak to our children, we are sowing something in their hearts: love or fear, trust or doubt, hope or hurt. This command isn’t only about polite conversation, it’s about shaping souls. In parenting, our speech becomes the soil from which a child’s self-worth, emotional stability, and even their view of Allah grows…
When a child hears “I believe in you,” they begin to believe in themselves.
When they hear “You’re always so difficult,” they start to carry that identity as truth.
And the Prophet ﷺ showed us that gentle speech is a tool of tarbiyah. He corrected without humiliation. He spoke in ways that made others feel seen and valued, even when he was teaching hard lessons. Words have influence!
If we want our children to speak kindly, we must let them live in the sound of kindness. If we want them to be forgiving, they must first hear us apologize. Because in truth, children learn the tone of their inner voice from the tone of our parenting. Our calm becomes their calm.
So the next time we’re tempted to rush, criticize, or shout – let’s pause because good words will bloom in their character long after we’re gone.
35) Talk to Allah about your kids as much as you talk to your kids about Allah.
“And when My servants ask you, , concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me and believe in Me that they may be guided.” [Qur’an; 2:186]
We often pour our hearts into talking to our children about Allah – teaching them who He is, His mercy, His love, His rules, His guidance. But this aayah reminds us of the other half of that relationship – the part where we talk to Allah about them through our strongest weapon as a parent – DUA! Because Allah is near. Near to the parent whose heart trembles with worry.
Every parent knows the ache of wanting to protect, to guide, to shape their child’s heart – yet realizing that we can’t always get it right. But the One who is the Ever-Near, can! So while we teach our children who Allah is, we must also entrust them to Him. Talk to Him about their faith, their friends, their struggles, their weaknesses that only you see, and their potential that only you believe in…
Dua is not a backup plan in parenting, it’s not the last resort – it’s the foundation of tarbiyah. We can model, teach, and guide, but we can’t open hearts. Only Allah can! It’s a two-way relationship – we call upon Him, and we respond to Him and teach our children to respond to Him as well.
So when you worry about your child’s future, whisper to the One Who Wrote it. When you don’t know how to guide them, turn to the One Who Guided you. When words fail, let dua speak for you.
36) Our marriage is their classroom (on what to expect from their spouse).
“Not upon the Messenger is except notification. And Allah knows whatever you reveal and whatever you conceal.” [Qur’an; 5:99]
As parents, one of the most powerful messages we ever deliver to our children isn’t spoken in lessons or reminders – it’s shown in how we treat each other (our spouses – their mother/father). Children learn love, respect, and emotional safety by watching how their parents interact. They’re quietly absorbing our actions and those actions will echo in how they love, argue, apologize, forgive, and show compassion as adults. Our role is to model the message, not to control its impact. If they see us speak kindly of our spouse (even when upset), they learn that love doesn’t vanish in disagreement. If they see us apologize sincerely, they learn humility and repair.
So much of tarbiyah happens between parents, not just between parent and child. Our marriage becomes a classroom where our children witness patience, respect, and forgiveness in real time. And Allah knows what we reveal and what we conceal. He sees the quiet efforts to maintain peace, the restraint we show when angry, the choice to speak with kindness when ego wants to lash out.
Someday, they’ll mirror what they saw and long after our words fade, the model we lived will remain as their guide. How the father treats their mother will become a guide for daughters on what to expect from men. And how a mother treats their father becomes a guide for sons on what to expect from women…So treat your spouse like you would want your children to expect love and respect.
37) Children’s calm begins with us, and ours with Allah
“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.” [Qur’an; 13:28]
When I first heard that “a peaceful parent often nurtures peaceful children”, it honestly sounded a bit offensive! My kids are rambunctious – does that mean so am I? 😅 but reciting Quran out loud around them made me realise how true that statement is! They mirrored my calm – the same calm I was missing most days, until the Quran came to my rescue…
Peace does not come from controlling everything around our children, but from anchoring ourselves and them in the remembrance of Allah. When we model calmness rooted in reality, our children also learn that tranquility doesn’t come from success/achievements or approval – it comes from connection with Allah.
Our bodies are made of clay, and their nourishment comes from the earth. But our souls are created by Allah and their nourishment comes from His Words. Just as food gives our body energy, our soul needs connection with Allah through Quran, dua, dhikr, salah, and more to feel fulfilled and replenished. Slowly but surely, our kids learn to co-regulate with us until, one day, they’re able to regulate on their own too.
38) Both joys and hardships are Allah’s tests
“Every soul will taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as trial; and to Us you will be returned.” [Qur’an; 21:35]
Life unfolds in ebbs and flows of joy and hardship, for us and for our children. Parenting is not a path free of trials; rather, it is a journey where every moment, gentle or harsh, carries a lesson from Allah. Some tests come wrapped in blessings – a smile, a success, a quiet moment of peace – while others arrive as struggles, challenges, and heartaches. Yet both refine our hearts and strengthen our souls.
We often see only the storms as trials, forgetting that even calm waters are part of the test, teaching us gratitude, mindfulness, and humility. The goal is not to escape trials, but to respond with patience when life is heavy, and gratitude when life is light.
By showing our children how to trust Allah, lean on Him when weary, and thank Him when joyful – all without celebrating through means displeasing to Allah – we model the most powerful form of tarbiyah: a resilience rooted in faith, a heart anchored in the One who tests, guides, and ultimately returns us all to Him.
39) Generations are united by the light of eeman
“And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith – We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds. Every person, for what he earned, is retained. [Qur’an; 52:21]
The bond of faith can unite generations eternally in the Hereafter…Imagine meeting your great-great-grandparents, the first in your lineage to say ‘La ilaaha illAllah’ – whose faith became the root from which your existence as a Muslim blossomed. They endured trials, held firm to truth, and through their steadfast love for Allah, they granted you the priceless gift of being born into Islam. Imagine being that person for someone else further down the generations…
As parents, this calls us to plant seeds of eeman in our children’s hearts, for this is a legacy that outlives wealth, possessions, and the fleeting comforts of this dunya. The greatest gift we can offer our generations is not gold or property, but faith that illuminates their hearts and guides their steps even when we are no longer there. Each dua whispered, each story of the Prophets shared, each act of kindness modeled becomes a bridge linking our children to generations of believers who came before them – a foundation that will remain forever with them, bi’idhnillah.
When we nurture their hearts, we are tending a garden that will, in shaa Allah, bloom in Jannah, where laughter, love, and peace stretch into forever. In this way, our family will meet again – not just around a dinner table or in childhood memories of Eid – but under the shade of Allah’s mercy, in a reunion that knows no end, with those who laid the foundation of our faith. Our connection to them, and to our children, is eternal, threaded together by the light of eeman that never fades…
40) Trust Allah as the children grow and leave our nest
“ said, “Fear not. Indeed, I am with you both; I hear and I see.” [Qur’an; 20:46]
These were Allah’s words to Musa عليه السلام and Harun (his brother) when He sent them to Firaun – one of the most powerful and feared men on earth. Yet Allah’s reassurance was simple: ‘I am with you. I hear. I see.’…
These words comfort every parent’s trembling heart – the one that watches little feet walk away each morning to school, or waves goodbye as they run into their grandparents’ home, or lets go of that small hand at a friend’s door. And then eventually, as they grow, the hand we once held so tightly begins to slip further away. First to playgrounds, then classrooms, then friendships that shape their thoughts, and finally into the vast world of adulthood.
We whisper Bismillah and breathe deeply, entrusting them to the One Who Never Blinks, Never Forgets, and Never Leaves. Allah is with them in every choice they make, every mistake they stumble through, every achievement they celebrate. We cannot walk every path with them. Letting them go is trusting Allah to mold their character, protect their hearts, and illuminate their decisions when we have already worked hard to lay the foundation. Our role shifts from constant hand-holding to quiet support, from steering every step to steadfast dua, from being their protector to being their prayer warrior.
We release them gently, knowing that we have done our part and now we surrender the rest to Allah, trusting that the roots of faith we planted will grow strong, keeping them upright even in the strongest winds of life. Because in the end, our greatest comfort is the certainty that while our hands may let go, His Presence will never leave.
This aayah reminds us to parent with tawakkul – to do our part with love, care, and preparation, while resting our hearts in the certainty that their true Protector, Listener, and Seer is always near.
We can’t always see, but He always does. We can’t always be with them, but He is!
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