Part 1: A love letter to my birth child
My dear baby girl Brr,
We call you Brr because you’re a fission of energy. And you electrocute us all with it. And also, because you used to look like a burrito in a swaddle.
Your smile is so infectious, it travels through your pictures. Being countries apart from you, pictures are all I have. And the few memories… But even those few are enough. They sprawl out of every corner I choose to lay.
Your giggles are all I hear, with those sweet coos
that carry enough sugar to sweeten the blues.
If I could only wish that the oceans stir together and the islands bundle up into one, I’d pray that the days be folded over the nights so you could be nearer to me.
Even though I didn’t give birth to you, you are beloved to me like my birth child. I am glad I made you my foster daughter.
You have no religious bounds to give the parental rights to me, but I have no legal bounds to give the motherly love to you.
It comes with this bond that has no real name but all the real feelings. Love does not need a name to exist. Feelings aren’t mathematical figures.
My daughter got an elder sister after her birth. How cool is that! It’s like you have two mothers and two fathers. Love can be multiplied like that. You’ll grow up with double the love and double the hugs ❤ in shaa Allah.
And so will my daughter for having your mother as her nursing mother. Cross-nursing as it’s called. Intertwining the threads of bonds even closer. The day you’ll be able to understand this relationship, these ahadith will guide you through…
Yahya related to me from Malik from Nafi that Abdullah ibn Umar said, “There is no kinship by suckling except for a person who is nursed when he is small. There is no kinship by suckling over the age of two years.” [Suckling – كتاب الرضاع]
‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: “What becomes unlawful through breastfeeding is that which becomes unlawful through birth.” [Muslim]
Being your milk-mother means more siblings for you, hence more bonds. Whoever is Marham for my birth children are Marham for you as well.
You were only 6 months old when I made you my daughter. I would have loved to make your elder sister (my first love) my daughter as well but she was almost 3 by that time. The time was gone…but Allah knows best what’s best for all.
Did you know that Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) also had wet-nurses in his childhood?
*Thuaiba (may Allah be pleased with her)
*Halimah Al-Sadiah (may Allah be pleased with her).
Due to which he had many foster siblings:
*Masruh (son of Thuaiba (may Allah be pleased with her))
*Abu Salama (Prophet’s Companion (may Allah be pleased with him) who was also breastfed by Thuaiba (may Allah be pleased with her))
*Hamzah bin Abdul-Muttalib (Prophet (ﷺ)’s Uncle was also suckled by Thuaiba and Halimah (may Allah be pleased with them)).
and from among the children of Halimah Al-Sadiah (may Allah be pleased with her):
*Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him).
*Shayma (may Allah be pleased with her).
*Aneesah (may Allah be pleased with her).
What a beautiful way of extending love between different families. What an honor Allah has bestowed upon women. A means to give life, an ability to connect separate bonds into one through breastfeeding.
It doesn’t only strengthen our bond with each other, but it has strengthened my love for your mother. My sister. And even your blood siblings, who I didn’t get to nurse. Yet they feel like my own. You have knit our relationship snug and warm.
People call you my niece, but I’d like to call you my daughter. Meri beti. Binti ❤