A Love Letter to my Beloved (Part2) Featured


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Part 1:  A love letter to my birth child

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My dear baby girl Brr,

We call you Brr because you’re a fission of energy. And you electrocute us all with it. And also, because you used to look like a burrito in a swaddle. 

Your smile is so infectious, it travels through your pictures. Being countries apart from you, pictures are all I have. And the few memories… But even those few are enough. They sprawl out of every corner I choose to lay.

Your giggles are all I hear, with those sweet coos

that carry enough sugar to sweeten the blues.

If I could only wish that the oceans stir together and the islands bundle up into one, I’d pray that the days be folded over the nights so you could be nearer to me. 

Even though I didn’t give birth to you, you are beloved to me like my birth child. I am glad I made you my foster daughter. 

You have no religious bounds to give the parental rights to me, but I have no legal bounds to give the motherly love to you. 

It comes with this bond that has no real name but all the real feelings. Love does not need a name to exist. Feelings aren’t mathematical figures. 

My daughter got an elder sister after her birth. How cool is that! It’s like you have two mothers and two fathers. Love can be multiplied like that. You’ll grow up with double the love and double the hugs ❤ in shaa Allah.

And so will my daughter for having your mother as her nursing mother. Cross-nursing as it’s called. Intertwining the threads of bonds even closer. The day you’ll be able to understand this relationship, these ahadith will guide you through…

Yahya related to me from Malik from Nafi that Abdullah ibn Umar said, “There is no kinship by suckling except for a person who is nursed when he is small. There is no kinship by suckling over the age of two years.” [Suckling – كتاب الرضاع]

‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: “What becomes unlawful through breastfeeding is that which becomes unlawful through birth.” [Muslim]

Being your milk-mother means more siblings for you, hence more bonds. Whoever is Marham for my birth children are Marham for you as well. 

You were only 6 months old when I made you my daughter. I would have loved to make your elder sister (my first love) my daughter as well but she was almost 3 by that time. The time was gone…but Allah knows best what’s best for all. 


Did you know that Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) also had wet-nurses in his childhood? 

*Thuaiba (may Allah be pleased with her)

*Halimah Al-Sadiah (may Allah be pleased with her).


Due to which he had many foster siblings:

*Masruh (son of Thuaiba (may Allah be pleased with her))

*Abu Salama (Prophet’s Companion (may Allah be pleased with him) who was also breastfed by Thuaiba (may Allah be pleased with her))

*Hamzah bin Abdul-Muttalib (Prophet (ﷺ)’s Uncle was also suckled by Thuaiba and Halimah (may Allah be pleased with them)).

and from among the children of Halimah Al-Sadiah (may Allah be pleased with her):

*Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him).

*Shayma (may Allah be pleased with her).

*Aneesah (may Allah be pleased with her).


What a beautiful way of extending love between different families. What an honor Allah has bestowed upon women. A means to give life, an ability to connect separate bonds into one through breastfeeding. 

It doesn’t only strengthen our bond with each other, but it has strengthened my love for your mother. My sister. And even your blood siblings, who I didn’t get to nurse. Yet they feel like my own. You have knit our relationship snug and warm. 

People call you my niece, but I’d like to call you my daughter. Meri beti. Binti ❤ 


From, 
Your nursing mother 


Samina Farooq is an engineer by qualification, a Quran and Arabic-language student by occupation, a photographer by eye, a writer by heart, an artist by nature and a Muslim by soul. A mum of one is currently studying Intensive Arabic Program from Islamic Online University while also following Bayyinah institute's 'Arabic with Husna' classes, one baby step at a time.

Comments

  1. What a beautiful letter mashaAllah. I’ve always been cautious because of how nursing does affect things like who is whose mahram etc, but this is such a heartfelt letter and nursing someone else’s child – however close the relation – is such a selfless thing to do x

  2. This is a beautiful letter. It’s a great gift to be a nursing mother even though wet-nursing is not very common nowadays. As you mentioned that our prophet also had wet-nurses, I only knew of one so jazakillah khair for enlightening me that they were two.
    I believe it is such a blessing to be able to successfully breastfeed your birth children,let alone being able to breastfeed other babies Masha’Allah.

  3. Allahumma Barik this is so sweet! Such a beautiful bond wet nursing creates as well. I’m glad you decided to share it. ❤

  4. SubhanAllah this is beautiful. I’d love to her more of the story behind this as I think it’s something that people don’t really talk about much. Jazakillahu khayrun for sharing dear sister

    • Well we cross nursed each other’s children. Initially, I was finding it difficult to nurse my daughter so frequently, so my sister came to my rescue. Later on, my sister had to attend her classes so I took the nursing responsibility in that time. This way mahram relationship has been built in a way it wasn’t before. For eg: her daughter wasn’t my husband’s mahram but now is…
      Hope that clarifies many things. Feel free to email me if you’ll have more questions 🙂

  5. Read it twice! I cannot say I like this one better than the first part. Because BOTH are in comparable. Full of emotions!
    I wish I had the talent of putting my feeling into words as beautifully as you do.

  6. This was indeed a lovely evening read. Such a beautiful post and I am so glad I came across this. Wet nursing is something that only some women can do. Nursing is indeed something that involves a lot of patience so hats off to those women.

  7. Beautiful – full of emotion.

  8. Reading this literally moved my heart! I can still feel it “shake”! You’ve brought tears to my eyes. MashAllah, may Allah reward you for all you have done to help your foster child, and I hope you will be reunited again one day.
    It lovely to see a list there of all the foster siblings of the Prophet (SAW).I’ve never seen it listed out like that before. JazakAllah khayr.

  9. This is so beautiful mashaAllah. I especially loved “your giggles are all I hear, with those sweet coos, that carry enough sugar to sweeten the blues.” So adorable!

  10. This is so beautiful! I love how you also included Islamic relevance to such a heartfelt letter <3

  11. Muslim Children's Literature Says: November 25, 2016 at 8:49 am

    Very beautiful mashaaAllah. How lovely of you to revive a forgotten sunnah.

  12. This is so beautiful. I do know of instances of wet-nursing in our country but never heard of the bond created as a result. You have really added a ‘personal’ touch to what women just do as a form of necessity at that given moment. May Allah Bless all the beautiful relations thus created with love and unity always. Aameen <3

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